"Oh, no; I knew it would happen!"
After 3 days of a hard-hitting sinus something-or-other, I wasn't surprised to see the red in the tissue. No big deal for the average mortal, but when you have an unfortunate history of long hours spent in vain attempts to staunch the flow of life-sustaining fluid from your nasal passages... well you will no doubt understand the despair which swept over me at the sight of that stained paper.
Ah! But then I remembered the trick that had saved so much embarrassment and discomfort in the past. As soon as I started taking a supplement of cayenne pepper capsules, the problems stopped. Of course as time went on the practice dropped off and I eventually lost the bottle of little pills.
But could this help me in any way now? I strode into the kitchen, rummaged around in a basket on the counter, and pulled out a long red pepper from this year's successful garden. Now fully dried and shriveled, it's emaciation could not fool me, for I knew the power it packed within its wrinkled skin. The red skin of a cayenne pepper is very hot in itself, but the seeds... If one could harness the potential energy contained in one of those flat, white round seeds, he could power his house for a year.
I looked at it for a second. Maybe two. Then, with the bravado of a thrill-seeker... ( er, more like the desperation of a madman) I bit it in two and chewed it up.
The bleeding stopped instantly. The joy of salvation was short-lived, of course. A dash to the fridge and the milk jug was to my lips. 5 seconds ( one pint) later I replaced it and reached for the freezer door. Several forkfuls of ice cream took the edge off. Cookie dough, my favorite... But I couldn't taste it.
Well, my nose is fine, my mouth has almost stopped burning, and I have no temptation to go finish the other half of the pepper. It is time for a good night's rest.
No one who visits me will ever ask for milk :-/